The flu was taken to a beauty salon and given a make over. It felt good about itself, so it said "OMG, my hips are too wide, I've put on so much weight. I hate my nose, it's not pointy enough. My boobs aren't what they used to be.. and this ass.. I have to do something about this ass! I think it's time for some plastic surgery!!"
So the flu decided it would contact the best plastic surgeon at the CDC to fix all of the insecurities it had. When the flu called the CDC to inquire about surgery, they referred it to Dr. Fauci. Dr. Fauci told the flu that he understood why it didn't have much confidence anymore. Fauci told the flu that he would be more than happy to perform the surgery himself, and that by the time the flu healed up.. it would reemerge as a young, sexy, confident little non-existent virus called Covid-19.
When the surgery was complete, the flu was ecstatic. It took one look in the mirror and saw that it was now drop dead gorgeous. It was a white ball, with little red spikes all over it. The flu had never felt so confident, so it decided to move to Hollywood and become an actor. During it's first audition for a upcoming blockbuster film called "The Global Pandemic Shapeshifts Into The Great Reset," the flu absolutely nailed the part. The director of the film, Harvey Weinstein, was so thrilled that he found his new Blockbuster Star, that he decided to find the first woman he saw.. so he could tell them the great news!!!
Harvey looked to his left and locked eyes with the first woman he saw. This woman just so happened to be Hollywood superstar and self admitted Hollywood elite orgy atendee, Gwyneth Paltrow. He ran up to Gwyneth and said "Gwyneth, Gwyneth! Did you see the flu's audition? I can't believe it! I've never seen acting on this level!! This is absolutely amazing!!! I don't know about you Gwyneth... but I think the flu is going to be PERFECT for this role and will ABSOLUTELY CRUSH IT!!!!"
Gwyneth looked at Harvey with a big smile on her face and said "ME TOO!"
The flu went on to win 5 Emmy's in 2020. It won "Best Actor in a Comedy Series," "Best Actor," "Best Supporting Actor," "Best Actress," and Best Supporting Actress." The flu has now earned itself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, right next to Gavin Newsom, Andrew Cuomo, Joe Biden, Dr. Fauci, Bill Gates, Klaus Schuab.. and of course... David Mayer de Rothschild (Cesare Borgia). If you see the flu in public, DO NOT CALL HIM "THE FLU!" Only refer to him as Covid... and for the love of god... PLEASE WEAR A MASK! It's THE NICE THING TO DO! WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!